R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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