just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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