He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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