I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
