I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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