That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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