doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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