haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
