Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
