ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
