Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Sorry my hands just texted you
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
