my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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