I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Randomize
