dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
she looked like the before picture.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
