What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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