i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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