Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize