Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
you will always have a special place in my vag
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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