My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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