I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
