after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
