wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
