Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you have to choose: penises or morals?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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