so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
