it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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