I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
what is it with giant penises always finding me
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
