I wanna passion pit in your ass
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
