I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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