Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize