He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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