i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
