Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize