NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
