my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I love having hate sex.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
