I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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