Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
