So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
