the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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