The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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