I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
