well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
even my farts smell like vagina
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
