ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
