Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Randomize
