just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
