I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
