you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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