She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
