Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
He kissed a someone with a penis
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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