I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
3 2 1 whiskey
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
