he thought i was a dude.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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