I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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