I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
