Three words: puerto rican gang bang
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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