I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
