Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
