Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I just found a bag of teeth...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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