Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
