I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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