You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
